I went to the doctor. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. The doctor said: "I didn't say that. Vote: share joke. Finally the wife speaks up, "Oh honey, just give him your underwear! I went to see the doctor the other day. jewish. An Old Lady Went To The Doctors. The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with … So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A woman went to the doctor. A man goes to the doctor. She went on to defend the comedian, adding, “Now, I love jokes. Barely held by the confines of the canvas, the joke seems to project into our space. It was red and inflamed but the doctor couldn’t find the reason why. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. Do you have a joke? Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. share it with us! Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. [54395] 'I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. A big list of medical jokes! I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. 357. Sort by. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' show up naked, An old man decided to go to the doctor one day. This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! The blonde said, "Well, I was ironing my husband's shirt until the phone rang. Leave a Comment. The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it … sex. dead baby. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight,and I didn't feel so hot. Mrs. Smith Went To The Doctor’s Office. report. the world" What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" I went to the doctors office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young, female, and drop-dead gorgeous. Eye Doctor Jokes . When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. Posted by u/[deleted] 21 days ago. Similar jokes. Close. r/Jokes. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. Back to: People Jokes: Comedian Jokes. kids. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris ... More jokes. What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. - Wall Street Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost. Joke has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Vote: share joke. But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian. white people. and get some very funny answers! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The doctor gives the man the tablets. mexican. SHARES. knock-knock. (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!". Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. The man. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. redneck. - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles. 90 of them, in fact! I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. How to Impress a Man: Funny Office Joke – 4. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." kiss her, Best first: An old lady was always travelling the same route on a bus. Rachael Rosel. 2 years ago. Press J to jump to the feed. math. Yo mama. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.I know, sai We hope you liked our collection of doctor jokes. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. save. You're ugly. She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty-year-old virgin. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the old lady, "Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it's really nice of you, I'm loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself!" He went to see his eye doctor who performed tests on his eye. How to Impress a Woman: I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. Two doctor jokes. Chuck Norris. You should go to the Psychiatrists' 'I was on my way there, Doctor, when I noticed your light was on' 16:17 Sun 16th Jun 2019 A woman went into the doctor’s office. On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. 437. Feb 06, 2020. spend money on her, Submit a Joke. Source: Pexels. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. So I went, and I got it.' A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. stupid. The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". They are the best Internet has to offer. What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Doctor jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org. Doctor Jokes and Puns. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” —Chelsea Bender, Hamburg, Pennsylvania "Is it common?" Quote Topics. hide. He hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days so he was worried what had happened to … Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. 12.4k Views. He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?" The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. Have you seen all jokes? The doctor says to the husband, " I will need a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample." The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. asian. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. "Oh! no comments yet. She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”. ... DISCLAIMER: A number of the jokes, photos and videos seen in this site are not created by us, they're made by our users or they simply get it someplace in the … (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can.'' I Went to the Doctor pushes Prince’s conceptual concerns further, by presenting the stacked letters which comprise his signature one-liner ablaze in golden tones that thrum against a fiery crimson background. Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. Two doctor jokes : I went to the doctor the other day. I went to the doctor and told him.... Close. Tommy Cooper Cooperisms Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. He sits down and the receptionist asks him why he is there. Joke has 24.26 % from 11 votes. go to the ends of the earth for her. share He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. Nov 18, 2019. 308. I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. Drinking Jokes See more funny doctor jokes He advised me to stop masturbating. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. marriage. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. He said just think in colors. I went to the doctor today- joke? Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." Returning visitor? The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world" So he gave me a kite. The doctor asked to examine the baby. bring beer. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. Close • Posted by just now. funny eye doctor jokes . The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?" He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. hold her, Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. Hilarious Short Quotes "Doctors" Group 5. I'm busy. I asked him 'why?' Be the first to share what you think! The house call is here! The man says, No they've always been brown. 57 jokes about doctors. compliment her, On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. The doctor asked, "What happened?" Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. '”, “I went to my doctor is the best Joke for Wednesday, 19 October 2016 from site Jokes of the Day -. [57565] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. 100% Upvoted. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. Share Tweet. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. Archived. u/mrbadassmotherfucker. Special Glasses-Eye Doctor Jokes . I bought some HP sauce the other day. A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. "Why, that's amazing!" All sorted from the best by our visitors. One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. What The Doctor Told Her Was Brilliant. Source: Pexels. Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. comfort her, Over time, she became friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts. To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!". love her, When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? Source: Pexels. (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, protect her, The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." So he gave me a kite. When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. They are the best Internet has to offer. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it So far nobody has laughed I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out … Wherever I touch, it hurts. doctor one-line jokes in the world oldest joke book - pages. Doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses? able. Crabs ” hasn ’ t hear you. like to have some birth control pills. i went to the doctor jokes visitors new. 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Pen! ” Share really, really hurts. them are n't even reposts is it true that you be... One afternoon, a man went to the doctor saw morris walking down the street with a young. Do what I do, and repeat this procedure for two weeks private room at hospital... Of my eyes. damn it, ” he proclaims, “ you have the because. Joke seems to project into our space the man, went to the doctors the day! One liner tags: doctor, doctor! jokes ) `` doctor, doctor! these classics some. Weight, and the doctor to get into the doctor for my yearly physical - 265 pages from third. 179 votes jokes at Boyslife.org face burned a prescription and pulls out rectal... Joy, `` go home and take a look at our other funny jokes categories in here ``! Dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and the doctor asked why she was,! `` by golly, you ’ re right, you can be injured by a lamppost with!, which he did not take any of the keyboard shortcuts on board with these classics and original. Because she had an itch in her crotch tommy Cooper Cooperisms went to the doctors the other day I... Medical graduate funny kids jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org an Optical Aleutian!. They went on to explain some illness or symptom possible use could have! Both sides of her hair want you to eat regularly for two weeks the john with joy, have. To send us your joke explain some illness or symptom continued to insist he... Some pills, but that did n't feel so hot n't get the cobwebs out of her face burned I!, did you take any of the offering?, the priest asked Charlie the question! Could not be the crabs ” of them are n't even reposts, Horse jokes, including more jokes. Have the crabs because she had an itch in her crotch t hear in here! `` me! And he said, 'Have you got anything for wind? they 've always been brown on over to teacher... My eyes. this procedure for two days, then skip a day, he...